


loose ends

by dearlyuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 20:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17270975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlyuta/pseuds/dearlyuta
Summary: Renjun dreads this day of ever coming. But Mark will never let him go, no matter what.





	loose ends

**Author's Note:**

> since i'm still emotional over 7dream, i ended up writing this. please excuse any mistakes that you might see since i haven't proofread it yet! enjoy reading!

The confetti bursts from right above, startling Renjun for a moment. The noise is deafening but even then, the corners of his lips are tugged into a wide smile with his eyes crinkling. He can feel an arm wrap itself around his shoulder and his breath gets stolen away when Mark stares down at him with a proud smile gracing his mouth.

Mark's eyes always look like there are stars hidden deep within his dark orbs — they twinkle all too brightly when the happiness is running deep through his veins. And it must be what he's feeling as of the moment because his starry eyes are lit up, brighter than the lights surrounding them.

"You guys are finally adults!" Mark yells out over the crowd of idols surrounding them. Jeno and Jaemin share a laugh, clearly pleased because they've finally reached the day they've been aching to get. Renjun only grins, not trusting himself to say anything else as his gaze fixates itself on Mark.

This is the day that he's been awfully dreading for months — as each day falls shut and the sun rises over the horizon, there's an uncomfortable feeling residing in his stomach. It travels from the tip of his toes to the top of his head, his fingers constantly twitching and drumming against his sides. He's been successful in covering up his worries with a lighthearted laugh falling from his lips, his voice always on the verge of playfulness and teasing whilst talking to the other members. No one suspects a thing though, thank god.

"Finally, we can drink." Jeno jokingly says and Jaemin rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he hooks an arm around Jeno's waist to keep him close. Both Chenle and Jisung manage to slip in between Mark and Jeno, clinging to the leader with a rather tight grip.

"I'm so proud of you guys." Mark's voice is filled with a tremendous amount of pride, his eyes sparkling as he takes in the sight of the younger boys surrounding him. His gaze briefly flickers over to Renjun and for a stretch of a moment, he's caught breathless as they hold each other's unwavering stare. Renjun can already feel the flush of embarrassment coursing itself through his veins, the tips of his ears are coloring themselves into a red tint before Mark abruptly breaks the stare with a small smile.

"We should call Hyuck before we head to bed." Jaemin perks up and the others nod their heads in agreement quickly, eagerly stepping off the stage once the closing remarks are dropped. The sweat is still clinging to Renjun's skin, making his clothes stick uncomfortably on his body but right now, it's the least of his worries.

Jeno and Jaemin already went ahead first, clinging to each other tightly with their arms wrapped around each other. Chenle and Jisung almost started running down the hallway, if it wasn't for the manager stopping them with a hand, warning them not to accidentally knock into some of the idols walking by. Mark averts his eyes from them, his gaze moving back to Renjun, who's sporting on a look of nervousness. He hangs back, politely greeting the other idols passing by until Renjun finally got around to walk by him.

"You did amazing today, by the way." Mark stays close to him, walking in a rather slow pace, trying to indulge themselves in some alone time together. Renjun steals a glance at him, a smile curving just the slightest on his lips as he lets their fingers graze along for a second before allowing their pinkies to hook together.

"You too. You're always amazing." Mark lights up at his words, clearly elated as he swings their hooked pinkies with a light laugh. Renjun ducks his head, hiding the wide smile that graced itself across his lips and attempting to keep his laugh soft. Due to the amount of idols walking by, Mark ends up pressing himself closer to Renjun's side unknowingly, occasionally apologizing if they ever bump or hit someone along the way.

Due to the commotion as everyone rushes to their respective dressing rooms, Renjun lets his gaze drop to their hooked pinkies. He takes a deep breath before letting his fingers slip through the empty spaces of Mark's hand, giving it a light squeeze. The little gesture catches Mark's attention fast, his line of sight dropping to their intertwined hands before a subtle smile forms easily on his mouth, their eyes meeting once again.

Somehow, seeing Mark smile like that at him, Renjun feels like everything will be okay.

-

"Happy new year, Hyuck." Jaemin holds out his phone, trying to get everyone into the frame on his camera. Donghyuck elicits a laugh, angling his camera before a satisfied smile curves on his lips.

"Happy new year!" Donghyuck nearly screams in excitement over the phone and Renjun involuntarily flinches, clearly taken by surprise at the sound. "I bet it's not fun without me there, right?"

"Definitely. We miss you, Hyuck." Jeno leans in close so he can be included in the frame, peacefully laying his head on Jaemin's shoulder with a grin. Donghyuck bursts into another fit of chortles, shaking his head before his gaze flickers to somewhere in his room before holding up his phone again.

"Maybe we should visit you." Renjun suggests, his voice already starting to get on the verge of playfulness. "We're supposed to have our first drink together."

"Then come visit me!"

"I don't think your mom will approve to see four kids getting drunk and realizing that all of you have low alcohol tolerance." Jisung snorts before he lets out a yelp when Jeno reaches over to pinch his side. He tries to throw a stern glare at him but Jeno only sticks out his tongue at him playfully before Chenle hooks an arm around his torso.

"Hey, where's Mark hyung?" Donghyuck questions, his brows knitting together before his eyes scan the group again. The other boys glance briefly around, the same confused look streaked across their features.

"I think he's at the practice room." Chenle perks up and they all exchange glances before their gazes all drop to Renjun. The brown-haired boy is caught by surprise when he sees all of their expectant eyes settling on him, making him swallow the lump in his throat.

"You should check on him, Injun."

"What?" Renjun squeaks out, the embarrassment traveling too fast through his veins as the heat rises to his cheeks, coloring them in a pinkish tint. "Why me?"

Jaemin arches a brow, an amused grin playing just at the edges of his mouth. He tilts his head to the side with a knowing glint bright in his dark orbs.

"We all think that you're the one who needs to talk to Mark the most," His voice unexpectedly goes soft, gentle as he tenderly reaches out to grab Renjun's arm with his hand. Donghyuck falls silent before he hums in delight, a sweet smile curving on his mouth this time.

"And I think that it's you that Mark needs to talk to the most. I'm sure that he has something to say to you."

There's an obvious reluctance in Renjun's movements — his eyes flickering from each face in the room, his feet aimed right at the door but not bothering to take a single step towards it. Donghyuck emits a lighthearted chuckle, raising his other hand before waving it dismissively with a knowing smile on his lips.

"It's fine, we can talk again in the morning."

Renjun lets out a deep exhale, feeling a sudden burst of courage in the confines of his chest before nodding his head. He turns on his heel and he drowns out every thought swirling in his head until they've all spelled out the same words.

He needs Mark.

Right now.

-

There's a familiar song emitted by the speakers in the nearby practice room but Renjun can't place his finger on it since the sound is muffled. Every room is empty, with the exception of the last practice room down the hallway. The four walled room is lit up brightly with the dull bass sound coming from it, effectively drawing Renjun closer to the source of the sound. He steps carefully until he's right by the door, his heartbeat falling in sync with the fast paced song playing inside.

His fingers circle around the doorknob, slowly turning it until he hears the _click_ coming from it. The song continues to blare on so he pushes through, the door swinging open just wide enough for him to slip into without intruding. As he shuts the door, the song becomes more familiar to him — it's _My First And Last_ echoing from Mark's phone. He breezes through the last bits of choreography, effortlessly stealing Renjun's breath away with every fluid movement of his body.

Mark has always been eye-catching and Renjun can't blame himself for getting so captivated by him every time he watches their performance. There's a certain kind of charm in him that Renjun ends up keeping his eyes trailed on him all the time. Every time Renjun loses himself in staring too fondly at Mark's direction, he always gets caught red-handed by the older boy. His cheeks burn during those moments, incredibly mortified and shy as he ducks his head so he wouldn't see the way Mark is staring at him with the same fond smile he always wears.

The last notes of the song play before a stretch of silence echoes in the room. Suddenly, Renjun is all too aware of the silence blanketing them — it's everywhere and it's frighteningly deafening for a moment. The uneasiness is present in his gestures as he takes a hesitant step forward, forcing his heart to stay calm even though the erratic beating says otherwise.

Mark lets out a deep sigh, placing on his hands on his knees as he catches his breath. Sweat drips down his forehead as he blinks right at mirror, straightening his body almost instantaneously when his line of vision settles on Renjun standing by the door. Their gazes meet and Renjun can feel everything stand still at that exact second — he's rendered speechless when Mark turns around to properly face him with a bright smile.

"Hey," Mark reaches out to snatch the clean towel from his backpack, wiping away the beads of sweat on his skin before he runs a hand through his hair. Renjun keeps his lips sealed, afraid that the wrong words might slip past his mouth and ruin... whatever they have. He's already afraid of Mark leaving them and he doesn't want to further wreck their relationship with each other.

"What's wrong? Why are you still up so late?" There's a hint of worry detected in Mark's tone, his head tilting to the side as he studies the worrisome expression painted on Renjun's features. Renjun takes a deep breath, his heart falling into a steady pace as he graciously allows a smile to tug on his lips. He crosses the space between them until there's only a few more steps that's separating them.

"I should be the one asking you that." This time, a laugh spills from Mark's lips, just as Renjun plops down on the floor with his back pressed up against the cold, hard mirrored wall. There's another echo of silence between them but this time, it's comfortable as Mark grabs hold of his water bottle and settling right beside Renjun. He cracks it open, taking a generous sip from it before he screws the cap back on, letting the bottle drop to his side.

"Can't sleep," Mark mumbles, hugging his knees against his chest before laying his cheek on them, gaze flickering to Renjun. "I just... can't believe that I graduated already."

"Me too." Renjun honestly answers, a sigh falling from his lips as his stare drops to the floor instead with a humorless chuckle. "The six of us will be a chaotic mess without you."

"I doubt that. Hyuck did say that he's going to prove that you guys will be better without me."

"You do know that he's the one who cried the most when you said your speech, right?" Mark can't help but elicit another laugh, shaking his head as he straightens his back, letting his body lay against the wall comfortably. Renjun gazes at him, watching the conflicted expressions passing through Mark's face before the older boy lets his shoulders slump, displaying his sadness.

"You cried too."

"All of us did."

"You cried again," Mark swallows the lump in his throat, his gaze sweeping across the room before it lands on Renjun, unwavering and filled with an indescribable amount of sorrow. "In your own room. Right after our last Dream show."

Renjun only stares at him, finding it difficult to find the words that are stolen from the tip of his tongue. He didn't realize that there was anybody awake that night — he only allowed himself to crumble in his room because he's exhausted of facing the other members with tears staining his cheeks. He's the second oldest after Mark and he doesn't want the younger members to think that they won't be able to lean on him because he can be quite sensitive at times.

"I didn't think that you would hear that." Renjun emits another empty laugh, the sound echoing through his veins and bones. He hastily wipes away the tears that pooled in his eyes, casting his gaze downward to avoid Mark's stare right at him. He's afraid of a lot of things — he isn't one to open up with those emotions buried deep in him.

Mark is the one person that he could easily depend on with no questions asked. Since their debut, Mark has been a strong leader in their group. His kind, bright eyes and his sternness at times is what makes him the perfect kind of leader. Everyone can run to him and talk to him, spilling the aching burden that they keep in their chests.

Even someone as closed up as Renjun.

Renjun depends on Mark so much, his chest always bursting with worry since he's anxious about so many things. He might come off as someone who's confident and knows his way around, absolutely sure of his bright future ahead. But honestly speaking, he has spent so many nights, crying to Mark about how much he misses his parents and how he's actually distressed about his future.

What if he ends up disappointing everyone one day? What if, at one point, he'll lose sight of what's important to him? What happens then?

Mark always holds his hand or pull him in a rather breathtaking embrace during those nights. He'll stroke Renjun's hair and quietly listen to the words falling so fast from the younger boy's lips — so hurried and quick that it's almost difficult for them to follow through with what Renjun is saying.

He quietly tells him every time that he's so proud of how far Renjun has come and that he's sure that Renjun will be incredibly successful in the future. There are too many moments when Mark will stare at him during those times, his starry eyes soft yet bright, endlessly sparkling. As if he's certain that Renjun himself is born to be star, born to be on stage and perform.

Maybe that's why Renjun believes him so easily, without so much of a second thought.

"Are you okay?" Mark scoots over until they're pressed up against each other. Renjun can't bring himself to raise his gaze because he's terrified that he'll end up sobbing and breaking down if he meets Mark's concerned eyes. Mark carefully wraps his arms around his tinier figure, tugging him close for a tight and secure embrace. He doesn't say anything else to him, only rubbing his back in a hopefully soothing manner with his fingers trailing down it.

it takes a heartbeat of silence before Renjun buries his face on Mark's shoulder, tears streaming down his cheeks. His cries are muffled as he presses himself close to his body, looping his own arms around Mark's waist tightly. Mark is incredibly warm and comforting and _god_ , how is he going to hold himself up without him around?

"Don't cry." His voice is gentle, soft like always. The same tone he uses when Renjun is feeling upset and he needs to get that burdening amount of emotions buried in his chest out.

He pulls away and Renjun, out of instinct, lowers his head so Mark wouldn't catch sight of his tear streaked face. But Mark is swift to cup his cheeks, not caring Renjun's tears are staining his hands as he makes him look up. Their gazes meet and Mark's brows furrow together, concern and distress now obvious on his features.

"Don't cry." He echoes his own words, calmly wiping away the tears running down Renjun's cheeks with his thumbs. The only sounds echoing in the room are Renjun's sniffles and Mark trying to console him, trying to soothe him down.

"I'm sorry." Renjun lets out a dry laugh, hastily pulling away and wiping away his own tears. Mark is still peering at him with worry, his hands dropping to let them clasp over Renjun's own ones. Their fingers naturally entwine, a habit that they both refuse to break.

"I feel idiotic for crying." Renjun forces his voice to be light and even as a sad smile curls on his lips. "I mean, it's not like you're permanently leaving. You just graduated but we can still meet and—"

"Jun," Mark cuts in, his voice quiet as the brightness in his eyes dims. Renjun is speechless all over again, allowing Mark to push through with his words. The older boy heaves a deep sigh, stealing a glance at their intertwined hands before he meets Renjun's gaze with pursued lips.

"You're afraid, aren't you? You're afraid that you won't have what it takes to be the one that everyone in the group could depend on. You're afraid that, as the oldest person, you wouldn't be able to guide them." His voice takes on a gentler tone but it's still a strong punch to Renjun's guts. Renjun's stare on him is unwavering but he can't find it in himself to tear his eyes away from him. He slowly nods his head and Mark's expression entirely softens, an understanding look drawn on his features.

"Oh, Jun." He pulls him back in his arms and Renjun willingly melts in his embrace, biting back a sob from being ripped right out his throat. It's painful but he doesn't want to burst into tears in front of him again.

"It's okay to be scared. That's a natural feeling and you don't have to constantly reject that emotion. You don't have to carry this burden alone. You have the other boys — they'll always have your back and you have theirs in return." Mark speaks in a hushed tone, lulling Renjun in a calmer state as he rubs his back again.

"Just like I have yours and you have mine."

Renjun can feel the corners of his mouth curling up into a smile, a relieved sigh falling from his lips. Mark gives him a squeeze, breaking away from the embrace but he keeps his arms looped right around Renjun's frame securely.

"Okay, you know what," Mark flashes a bright, reassuring smile at him, his eyes crinkling so nicely that Renjun can feel his heart flutter just the slightest at the sight of it. "How about we meet every week, right up at the rooftop? We can talk there and we can spill our worries to each other."

Mark peers at him with a hopeful look crossing his features, his smile never slipping off from his lips. "Is that okay with you?"

Renjun finally allows himself to relax, emitting a laugh as he nods his head firmly. The thought of Mark keeping a tight hold on their relationship like this puts him at ease. Mark has always been like that — he'll never let go of the people that he holds close to his heart.

"That sounds like a great idea." They share a fit of laughter, their cheeks heating up as their gazes meet once again, the silence loud in the room. There's so much adoration hidden in Mark's eyes and Renjun wants this moment to freeze in time — this moment with their arms wrapped around each other with their starry eyes bright with happiness because they have each other.

Mark hesitates, so many emotions passing too fast through his eyes that Renjun has a hard time grasping on every single thing. But he's beyond elated when he sees the same, exact emotion reflected in both of their eyes.

_Love._

Renjun lets his arms wrap around his neck, tugging him close once again. He can feel the way Mark's breath hitches when their lips almost graze along each other's. When Mark's hot breath hits his lips, a shiver runs down his spine as he allows their gazes to lock for a moment, indulging themselves in every emotion running through their veins in the second. Mark lets his eyes flutter shut, his eyelashes gently kissing the curves of his own cheeks before Renjun follows his actions.

As the next second takes its step, everything clicks into place, just like they always do.

Mark captures his lips in a sweet kiss, slotting them together in perfect, practiced movement. Their heartbeats fall in a steady, calming sync and Renjun loses himself in everything about Mark. The feeling of his arms around his figure and their lips pressed against each other — it's indescribable. A burst of emotions deep within Renjun's chest echoes through his bones and god, he'll never stop falling in love with this kind of feeling.

Mark presses himself against his body with more desperation, urgency and Renjun loses himself in tangling his fingers in Mark's dark locks, tugging on them lightly. Mark's teeth teasingly graze along his bottom lip before he breaks away, dropping a tender peck on his rosy lips. Renjun's cheeks are red to showcase his embarrassment but the corners of his lips are lifted upwards into a wide smile.

Mark leans in, pressing a kiss on his forehead quite affectionately that Renjun's cheeks turn even redder. He coughs into his fist, hoping to will the blush down before Mark catches sight of them but it's too late — there's a smirk playing on the older boy's lips, clearly pleased with himself that he has that kind of effect on Renjun.

"Don't look at me like that." Renjun grumbles, dropping his gaze so he doesn't have to glance back and see the amusement written all over Mark's features. "Let's head back to the dorm."

"Aw, but I still want to spend some more time with you." Mark juts out his lower lip to form a pout before laying his head on Renjun's shoulder. The younger boy lets out a sigh but he does drop a kiss on top of the other's head, grinning widely with his heart skipping a beat.

"Hyung, I—"

"Please, ten more minutes?" Renjun tries to will himself not to smile so wide but when Mark is acting so adorable, it's difficult not to give in. He nods his head, loving the way Mark lights up with his starry eyes turning brighter than ever as he hugs Renjun close to him with a dreamy sigh. Renjun rests his cheek on top of his head, his arms tightly wrapped around Mark's shoulders.

"Promise me that you'll be by my side, no matter what?" Renjun's voice is filled with hope as he pulls away slightly to catch Mark's eyes. Mark locks his gaze on him, a smile easily curving on his mouth as he steals a kiss from Renjun's lips.

"You have my word."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! feel free to talk to me in [twitter.](http://twitter.com/jenosaints)


End file.
